


we unraveled threads two hours long

by loveglasses



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: F/F, Girl Squad Centric, Lowercase, Switching Perspectives, anti noorhelm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveglasses/pseuds/loveglasses
Summary: they're all learning in their third and final year. noora is learning how to heal, eva is learning more about herself, sana is learning to show her kind side, vilde is learning more about the world, and chris is learning how to challenge stereotypes. together, they're learning to defy the world's expectations, shrug them off, and stay strong.





	we unraveled threads two hours long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noora reflects on her life from the beginning of her nissen time to just before the start of third year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _halla!_  
>  so this is a book that i want to do! i have no guaranteed times for posting, but, hopefully you don't depend on this too much haha

noora’s lying on her bed, letting her mind wander. it’s wont to do that, it is its nature. different subjects, from vegan cheese made from cashews to freudian psychology, roam through her brain.

and then, she focuses on herself. she hasn’t done that in a while. she needs to take care of herself, take a bath and drink tea while in the bath or something. and, that’s when she realizes it.

noora misses who was when she first came to norway.

she was calm, carefully calculated, with swipes of bold red lipstick. a girl who believed in causes. a girl with a plan. a girl who had healed fully from all of the scars life had given her.

a girl who wasn’t afraid to love.

she tripped in the second half of her first year at nissen. (she can’t say she fell. falling would be meaningful and she refuses to give him any meaning, he doesn’t deserve it, she doesn’t want to give him any meaning.) tripped and saw him in what she thought was a reflection of the pavement in a puddle, but it really was a deep, dark hole, filled with monsters that he made her think she couldn’t face alone, that he made her think he saved her from. she can’t say his name, can’t say it without her voice breaking because she was not meant to handle another toxic boy so close after the last one. she shouldn’t have had to deal with this, didn’t she learn? why couldn’t she learn?

she moved along with him to a whole other new city. he promptly abandoned her to appease his father. she tried to make the best of her situation. she saw the sights, became somewhat of a local. became a regular at some coffee shops. went to some bookstores. familiarized herself with the local transportation system and became an expert on the underground and the bus system.

sometimes, she went alone for tea. she went to the savoy often. it wasn’t like it was her money that she was spending.

some nights, she ordered in.

sometimes, she went to pastry shops. laduree, eric kayser, dominique ansel, lady m. a lovely little eclair shop near the south kensington station on the circle, district, and piccadilly lines. wherever she could find, really.

her focus was never, not once in her life, food. so she thought she was healthy, healthier than ever.

and it was then, only then, when she realized that this wasn’t her life anymore.

there were arguments. arguments that lasted so long, that tore her soul apart, screaming _why do you stay here, why do you do this? why do you keep doing this to yourself? you know what he is. you know what he does._ they urged, _go back. go back home to the people who care about you._

she listened. she listened to the undertones in the arguments and went back home, to both comply and challenge him. she moved back to her flatshare in her second year, caught up on all of her exams. she started to stand. started to climb into the hole that he had led her into.

even from afar, the urge to drop back down was strong. she blamed her leaving on herself eventually. he loved her, right?

she climbed back up to the surface with the help of her friends. she hasn’t been the same, but she’s back now. back to where she needs to be.

she was resilient, she realizes. the first boy had done so many horrible things. so had _he_. but noora got back up both times, even if it was with help.

fuck.

but who she misses is first semester, first-year noora. noora amalie sætre, badass. responsible. as gay as she wanted to be. feminist. powerful. her red lipstick wasn’t a shield, but an amplifier. she was the “rebel girl” in the song by bikini kill.

she wants to be her again.

she gets out of bed. puts her new red lipstick on. takes scissors and snips her hair. goes to the bathroom and takes out some of her old hair dye and dyes her hair a darker blonde again. she makes a new tumblr and follows her old favorites (some of whom, she’s sad to see, have deactivated).

she’s starting fresh this year for her third year, and nobody can take that away from her. she is her, she is whole.

she won’t, no, can’t trip.

maybe it’s because she’s fallen already. fell for eva, or maybe she’s risen because for the past three years, electricity has crackled through her veins and her soul is on fire when she talks to eva. she feels new and alive, nothing like the boys she’s fallen for. she is an oxymoron, she’s feeling calm and excited at the same time. when she touches eva, her heart sings and her mouth tilts towards the sky, trying to smile widely. far too widely to be a human smile, but it wants to smile no matter what either of them does.

she’s in love. she, noora amalie sætre, is fully and undoubtedly in love with eva kviig mohn.

even just admitting it to herself makes her heart flutter and open up. like in that one animated film. in a heartbeat. but she’s seen that film, and she _knows_.

she wants to keep it a secret, hidden away in her own treasure chest, but she also wants to share it to the world, to let them know, what a wonderful thing! she is in love. has been for so long.

she’d say that she’s useless, but being useless involves reciprocated love, and she doesn’t want to hit on a straight girl. or a nonconsenting girl, even if eva wasn’t straight. (she seemed to enjoy kissing vilde at the parties, but who could say that those kisses weren’t for show?)

god, life’s confusing. she groans. school starts soon. she’s tired and needs to catch up on sleep.

but even so, she’ll fall asleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, as you can see, this series is not very fleshed out. want some ideas to be put in? comment below!


End file.
